my personal revolt... against "ME"

Have you ever had a feeling that life is rushing you by???

That you don’t get enough time to reflect on your own needs and passions, but are only running around finishing regular day-to-day chores??

The weekdays are so hectic that you never know when the weekend has come around, and then there is so much to do on the weekends (social and domestic) that before you realize it, you are staring at the sun come up on a Monday morning and you are back to the start of the week.

Peace-of-mind is a precious commodity these days. Solitude is an even harder thing to find (especially in India, where you are always surrounded by people).

With all the travelling, fire-fighting, partying, drinking, eating-out and what-nots, it’s a never ending race from one place to the other, one thing to the other, I think I need a week’s break from all that. I want to enjoy a good long weekend doing “nothing”. “Doing Nothing” - the thought itself is orgasmic.

I could sit all day Sunday, do nothing expect play golf for 3 hours. That would be a fantastic day. Read a book, sift through the new HBR, write something, listen to music, play with Angel, and enjoy the evening breeze from the luxury of my garden at home. Just fantasizing about it feels so wonderful.

I love what I do. I am as passionate or maybe more passionate than most people when it comes to the work that I do. So I don’t regret having to get up on Monday morning to get back to office. Infact I look forward to that on a Sunday. But that doesn’t mean I feel fulfilled with the rest of my life.

There cannot be a single dimension to anybody’s life, definitely not mine. My passion to achieve something in my professional life satisfies one aspect of my urge, but there are others that I urge for to be satisfied, and somehow I get too obsessed with the first urge that I do not find myself the time to satisfy the others. I would think this would be the case with a whole lot of more people than just me. And please do not interpret the word ‘urge’ in a sexual way, an urge can be for something as simple as an ice-cream, to something as complicated as wanting to change a capitalist society to a socialist society.

Writing a blog or writing anything at all is my way of revolting against myself. For me to say, I am going to pull time out to write something, even if it doesn’t make sense, even if its just an image of calvin and hobbes that I put up on the blog. But its about telling myself to spend that half hour on a regular basis on something other than my first passion.

I somehow have found me a different passion lately that takes up a good portion of my time. If I follow that passion through of not, only time will tell.

I think each one of us needs to revolt against ourselves and pull that time out for the other secondary passion in each one’s life. It can be travelling, reading, writing, playing a sport, playing a musical instrument, or something as simple as listening to music. The human mind cannot be fulfilled by just one passion, it needs to be fed with a lot more to be able to take all the up and downs that life throws at you.

Go out there and distract yourself from the daily chores, and give your passion a chance to blossom.

Life is too freaking short. Don’t let it rush past you.

I know I wont.