women and drive dont always mix.. ;)

Note: Folks, please read this in the lightest possible sense, and please don’t start judging me. Its all in good fun. Lol

What is it with women and multi-tasking when it comes to driving?

With all due respect to Danica Patrick, we have to accept that universally, men are better drivers then women. I know it’s a very very sexist thing to say, and I can already see a black Honda Jazz, a green Honda CRV, and a possible Laura running at hi-speed towards me to run me over for what I am about to say.

Let me start by saying that I have the highest respect for women and what they accomplish in the professional as well as domestic life. But along the same lines, lets be realistic in accepting that women are lousy at driving just like men are lousy about anything to do with cleanliness (Yes, like everything else there are exceptions in this case as well).

The important aspect here is that logic says, when you know your limitations or handicap, then you try to be extra careful while doing that activity, right?? WRONG. Wrong for two major assumptions in that statement.

One, the biggest assumption is about “Logic”. When it comes to women/girls, most guys will agree that normal regular logic doesn’t work at all. The definition of logic as defined by men and women is very different. And since women make up atleast or close to half the population, the definition of “logic” can be challenged or debated. We all know who would come out on top when there is a debate between a guy and a girl. So that’s an open n shut case.

Two, that we are assuming that women consider their driving as their limitation/handicap. They still believe that they are much better drivers than men are. So when you do not realize or are willing to accept your limitations, how can you work at improving at it??? Don’t try telling your wife or girlfriend that her driving is bad, she’d beat you up with a baseball bat like no one ever did.

So imagine my amusement when I see a woman driver in front of me at Nehrunagar circle (one of the busiest round-abouts in ahmedabad) having a phone in one hand, her car signal showing she wants to turn left, but her car is drifting right at the slowest speed possible, and then puts down her phone, uses the same hand to run her fingers through her hair to adjust her hair, but still confused/misguided and eventually going straight, with her car signal still showing left.

There were people honking at her from all directions, but it made no difference to her, and I was absolutely enjoying every bit of the short amusement I was getting out of the whole scene as it unfolded.

The fun doesn’t stop at that, as she goes ahead, I end up having to follow her car because she is driving in such a way that I cant go past her. Just as we approach the Hanuman temple, as the traffic slows down because of the speed-breakers, our protagonist of this small incident suddenly gets self-conscious about her looks. She realizes that she needs to check on her make-up or whatever it is that she wanted to check and so while moving along at her own pace, she twists the rear view mirror in her direction and is now peeking across at the mirror to make sure her make-up is ok. With all this happening, she somehow jams her foot onto the brake and a bike that is in front of me and following closely behind her bumps into her rear bumper. What would have followed after that is for anybody to guess. With a woman in distress because of a guy on a bike bumping into the car brings out the brotherly love for the lady among all the men surrounding the scene. The poor bike fellow must have got the preaching of his life and our lady protagonist must have got the sympathies of all involved at the scene. (I don’t know for sure, because I didn’t stick around to enjoy the hoopla)

So men, please keep this in mind when driving: when driving, do not expect a woman driver anywhere in your vicinity to do the most logical thing. Expect the most unexpected move from her. That golden rule “might” keep you safe.

I know I am wicked. I am evil. But in my defense, this wouldn’t happen if for once women start accepting that while they are good at multi-tasking, that ability needs to be put aside when they are driving.

That would be their biggest and greatest contribution to world peace.

P.S – the incident happened earlier, but got down to writing about it last nite.